Stoic Virtues IRL
Relationships: From Tinder Trophies to Real Connection
Chad's been dating the same way for five years: swipe volume.
Swipe right on everyone. Match with whoever responds. Keep it shallow. Move on quick.
It's efficient. Low-risk. No vulnerability required.
He's also completely empty.
At 30, Chad realizes he's never had a real relationship. Not because he couldn't. Because he was terrified.
Real connection requires something he's never risked: vulnerability, honesty, showing up even when it's hard.
The Stoics would call this a failure of virtue. Specifically: courage.
The Four Stoic Virtues
Courage — Face hard things, especially your fear
Justice — Treat people fairly, especially the powerless
Wisdom — Know when to act and when to wait
Temperance — Control your impulses instead of letting them control you
The Masculine Identity Crisis
Culture gives you two shitty options:
- Dominate everyone
- Show no emotion
- Treat people as assets
- Vulnerability is weakness
- Apologize for existing
- No boundaries
- Avoid all conflict
- Strength is toxic
Both are garbage.
Marcus Aurelius—literally the most powerful man alive—could've been the ultimate toxic alpha. Instead, he wrote about fairness, duty, self-control, and treating people with dignity.
Stoic masculinity is: Strong but not domineering. Confident but not arrogant. Emotional but not reactive. Vulnerable but not weak.
Money: Tool vs God
Chad makes $75K a year. By standards, he's fine.
He's broke. Always.
$800 car payment (for image). $200 on clothes he wears once. $300 on bars. $400 on delivery food.
He's optimizing for looking successful instead of being free.
Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome. His core message:
"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
The guy who needs $200K to feel okay is broker than the guy content with $50K.
The Stoic Approach to Money
- Earn ethically (don't exploit, don't cut corners)
- Spend intentionally (needs first, wants second, waste never)
- Save consistently (automate it)
- Invest wisely (long-term, boring, no get-rich-quick)
- Give generously (wealth is for use)
- Hold lightly (practice being okay with less)
Build wealth. Don't worship it.
Discipline: The Only Real Superpower
Chad's gym membership cost him $1,080 over three years.
He went 14 times.
That's $77 per workout.
He signed up January 2nd. Crushed it for two weeks. Then life got busy. Then tired. Then cold.
Three years later. Exactly where he started. Except $1,080 poorer.
Motivation is an emotion. Emotions are unreliable.
Discipline is showing up regardless.
Building the Discipline Muscle
Start ridiculously small: Not seven days a week. Commit to 10 minutes, three times a week.
Remove decision fatigue: Same time, every day. Same place. Same trigger.
Track it: Check off the days. Review weekly.
Stack the commitment: Once the first habit is automatic (30-60 days), add another.
"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."
Virtue in Daily Life
At work:
- Courage: Take the risk, speak up, ask for the raise
- Justice: Treat everyone fairly, give credit, take responsibility
- Wisdom: Know when to push and when to let go
- Temperance: Don't burn out chasing the promotion
In conflict:
- Courage: Have the hard conversation
- Justice: Listen to the other perspective first
- Wisdom: Choose battles based on principle, not ego
- Temperance: Respond thoughtfully, not reactively
Virtue is not a destination. It's a direction. You're not trying to be perfect. You're trying to be better than yesterday.
Your Move: Daily Virtue Check
Morning (3 minutes)
Before your day starts:
- Courage: What am I avoiding that I need to face today?
- Justice: Who do I need to treat better today?
- Wisdom: What do I need to learn or accept today?
- Temperance: What impulse will I need to control today?
Evening (5 minutes)
Before bed, review:
- Courage: Where did I show up bravely? Where did I avoid?
- Justice: Where did I treat people fairly? Where did I fall short?
- Wisdom: What did I learn? What mistake did I repeat?
- Temperance: Where did I show discipline? Where did I give in?
Stoic Slap
"Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one."
Today, right now:
- Morning Virtue Check: Answer the four questions
- Set a daily reminder: "Am I acting with courage, justice, wisdom, and temperance?"
- Evening Virtue Audit: Review your day through the virtue lens
Start building character. One day, one choice, one virtue at a time.
That's how you become unfuckwithable.