Mind Control 101
The Control Trap
It's Friday night. Chad's getting rejected.
Fresh haircut. New shirt. Cologne that costs money. He walks up to the girl at the bar, delivers his opener perfectly, and gets: "I'm actually here with someone."
She turns back to her friends.
Now Chad's brain spirals for three hours straight:
I'm not good-looking enough. My opener was stupid. Everyone saw me get rejected. I'm never finding anyone. I'm going to die alone.
Here's what actually happened: A woman he doesn't know made a decision about a stranger. That's it.
But Chad spent the night trying to control something that was never his to control: her response.
- Whether he approached
- What he said
- His body language
- His energy
- Her attraction
- Her relationship status
- Her mood
- Her decision
This is the control trap. And it's destroying your peace every single day.
The Nervous System Trap
Your ex posts a new relationship photo. Your boss sends a vague email. Your Instagram post gets fewer likes than expected.
Your body doesn't know the difference between a real threat and a perceived one. Cortisol spikes. Heart rate rises. Your prefrontal cortex goes offline.
This is fine if you're being chased by a bear. It's devastating if you do it 47 times a day over things you can't control.
The average person spends 95% of their mental energy on what they can't control and 5% on what they can. Then they wonder why they feel powerless.
On God vs On Me Applied
Trust On God. Focus On Me.
- Your effort
- Your attitude
- Your reactions
- Your words and actions
- Your values and character
- Your discipline
- Outcomes and results
- Other people's opinions
- The past and future
- The algorithm and luck
- Death and timing
- Who gets promoted or rejects you
When you stop trying to control outcomes and focus on what's actually yours, you get better outcomes. All your energy goes into the only place it matters.
The STOP Framework (Emergency Protocol)
You're in the moment. Everything's chaos. You got rejected. You got bad news. Your brain is spiraling.
S — STOP moving physically. Don't text. Don't post. Freeze.
T — THREE deep breaths. In for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 6.
O — OBSERVE without judgment. What actually happened? Facts only.
P — PICK one controllable action. Focus On Me.
Your Ego Is the Invisible Parasite
Your ego is the voice that says: "I'm right, they're wrong. I deserve more respect. If I admit I'm wrong, I look weak."
- "I already know that."
- "If I admit I'm wrong, I lose."
- "I need to prove I'm better."
- "Tell me more, I might learn."
- "If I'm wrong, I want to know."
- "I compete with yesterday's me."
Ego isn't confidence. Ego is fear wearing a mask.
"Stop talking about what the good man is like, and just be one."
Epictetus: The Slave Who Owned His Mind
Born a slave in Rome around 50 AD. Actual slave. Zero rights. Zero freedom.
His master twisted Epictetus's leg for entertainment.
Epictetus calmly said, "If you keep doing that, you're going to break my leg."
The master kept doing it.
Snap. Leg broken.
Epictetus's response: "See? I told you you'd break it."
They could enslave his body. But they couldn't control his mind.
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
The most free man in Rome was technically a slave. The most enslaved people today are technically free but controlled by outcomes they can't influence.
Seneca: The Rich Bro Who Preached Detachment
Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome. And he spent his entire life writing about how attachment is suffering.
"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
The lesson: Hold everything lightly. The second you're attached, you're controlled.
Your worth isn't your net worth. Your identity isn't your job title. Your value isn't your relationship status. You are your character. That's what's On Me.
Your Move: Installing the System
Daily Practice
Morning Sort (5 min before checking your phone):
- Brain dump everything on your mind
- Two columns: On Me vs On God
- Circle your primary focus from On Me
Evening Review (5 min before bed):
- What did I try to control that wasn't mine?
- What did I control well?
- What will I control better tomorrow?
When Crisis Hits (Use STOP)
- Stop moving
- Three deep breaths
- Observe facts only
- Pick one controllable action
Stoic Slap
"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
- Do a 2-minute Brain Dump of everything stressing you
- Sort it into On Me vs On God
- Circle ONE thing from On Me to focus on today
Start now. Don't wait.