Chapter 1

How to Think Like a Stoic Today

Dead Roman Wisdom for Living Bros

It's 3 AM. Chad can't sleep.

Not because of insomnia or sleep apnea or whatever. His brain just won't shut up. And here's what's spinning in his head:

Two hours of Instagram scrolling—watching people with better apartments, better bodies, better lives. His ex's story shows up—now she's in Bali with some dude who looks like he lifts and reads. One glance at his bank account—five years of grinding, and he's actually further behind than his dad was at this age.

So he's staring at the ceiling. Chest tight. Spiraling.

I should be further ahead. Should have a better job. Should be jacked. Should be dating someone hot.

Should. Should. Should.

Here's the thing: Chad isn't broken. He's exactly what the system was designed to produce.

You might be Chad right now. I've been Chad. Most guys have been Chad at 3 AM, drowning in comparison, suffocating under anxiety about a future they can't control and a past they can't change.

The problem? The modern world sold you a lie. It said if you hustle hard enough, optimize hard enough, post enough, and crush enough metrics, you'll be happy. You'll be successful. You'll be somebody.

It's absolutely, 100% lying.

But here's what's wild: Two thousand years ago, a guy named Marcus Aurelius—literally the most powerful person on the planet—figured out a mental operating system that works. And it's not trendy. It's not new. But it actually functions.

The Game You're Trapped In

Let me be brutally honest about what you're up against.

You wake up. Before you even piss, you've already consumed:

  • 47 Instagram stories of people living better lives
  • 12 LinkedIn posts about promotions you didn't get
  • 8 news headlines designed to spike your cortisol
  • 3 texts you're avoiding
  • 1 dating app match that ghosted you

By the time you're actually awake, your brain has already run the Olympics of comparison and determined you're losing.

This system was engineered to: Keep you comparing (so you buy shit to keep up). Keep you distracted (so you don't think about whether this matters). Keep you addicted to dopamine hits (so you stay on the platforms). Keep you anxious about the future (so you keep grinding). Keep you exhausted (so you never ask the real questions).

Everyone's selling you a different solution to the same core problem: You feel like shit and don't know why.

Here's the actual problem: You're trying to control things that aren't yours to control.

Meanwhile, the Roman Emperor

Let's talk about Marcus Aurelius.

This guy was the Emperor of Rome. The most powerful human on Earth. And his job included:

  • Running an empire across three continents
  • Fighting barbarian invasions on multiple fronts
  • A plague that killed millions of people
  • Political backstabbers constantly plotting assassination
  • Raising kids (including one who became a tyrant)

If anyone had a legitimate excuse to be anxious, it was Marcus.

Instead, he wrote this:

"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."

— Marcus Aurelius

Marcus had the literal power to execute anyone who annoyed him. Instead, he chose to master the one thing he actually controlled: his own mind.

Every single night—after dealing with wars and chaos and the weight of an empire—Marcus sat down and journaled. His journal became Meditations—basically a Roman emperor's personal notes on how to not lose his mind when everything is falling apart.

Here's the secret: The specifics change. Human psychology doesn't. Same problems. Different era. Same solution.

The One Rule That Changes Everything

Here's the framework that separated Marcus from every other stressed-out leader who ever existed:

The Core Framework

Know what's On God versus what's On Me.

What you control. What you don't.

Master this split, you're unstoppable. Ignore it, life owns you.

Everything—every chapter, every practice, every daily exercise in this book—comes back to this:

Trust On God. Focus On Me.

On Me = Your Domain

This is what's actually yours:

  • Your thoughts – How you interpret what happens
  • Your actions – What you do, how you show up, what you choose
  • Your character – Who you become when nobody's watching
  • Your response – How you react to everything life throws at you
  • Your effort – The work you put in, regardless of what it produces

On God = Everything Else

  • Other people – What they think, feel, choose, believe about you
  • Outcomes – Whether things work out, success or failure
  • External events – Market crashes, pandemics, accidents, weather
  • The past – It happened. It's over. It's not changing.
  • Death – It's coming. You don't choose when.
On God
  • Your boss's mood
  • Traffic jam
  • Girl doesn't text back
  • Market crashes
  • Parents' wealth
On Me
  • How you show up at work
  • Your attitude when you arrive
  • Whether you spiral or move on
  • How you respond
  • Your work ethic

Most of your stress comes from trying to control what's On God. Most of your actual power comes from mastering what's On Me.

What Stoicism Actually Is

Stoicism isn't about being emotionless or not giving a shit. That's a misunderstanding from people who've never read the Stoics.

Stoicism is about:

  1. Controlling what you can control and letting go of the rest
  2. Living by virtue (courage, justice, wisdom, self-control) instead of ego or impulse
  3. Remembering you're going to die so you act like your time matters
  4. Seeing obstacles as training not roadblocks

The Dichotomy of Control

You Can't Control
  • What your ex posts
  • If you get promoted
  • Whether she texts back
  • What your parents think
  • The economy, weather, traffic
You CAN Control
  • Whether you check that Instagram
  • The quality of your work
  • How you respond to rejection
  • Whether you live by your values
  • Your reaction to chaos

Most stress comes from column A. All your actual power is in column B.

The Obstacle IS the Way

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

— Marcus Aurelius

The thing you're resisting is exactly what makes you better. Don't look for easy. Embrace hard as training.

Five Things You Do TODAY

Enough theory. Let's make this actionable.

1. The Morning Sort (5 minutes)

Before touching your phone, brain dump everything. Then make two columns:

On God
  • Promotion odds
  • My ex's relationship
  • The economy
  • What someone said about me
On Me
  • My work quality
  • How I respond to my boss
  • My gym session
  • My attitude in meetings

Circle ONE thing from "On Me" that you're dominating today.

2. Set Your Memento Mori Reminder (1 minute)

Set a daily phone reminder: "You're going to die someday. Is what you're doing right now worth your time?"

3. The Ego Check (30 seconds)

Before you post anything, ask: Am I posting this because it's valuable, or because I need validation?

4. The Evening Review (5 minutes)

Before bed, answer three questions:

  1. What did I try to control today that wasn't mine to control?
  2. What did I actually control well?
  3. What will I control better tomorrow?

5. Read One Stoic Quote (2 minutes)

Grab Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, Epictetus' Enchiridion, or Seneca's Letters from a Stoic. Read one passage. Let it sit.

Stoic Slap

"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Your Move

Before anything else today:

  • Do the Morning Sort with On God / On Me columns (5 min)
  • Set your memento mori reminder (1 min)
  • Commit to the Evening Review tonight (5 min)

Eleven minutes. That's what it takes to start thinking like a Stoic today.

Trust On God. Focus On Me.

Start now. Don't wait.

Chapter 2: Mind Control 101 →